"She loved my show in Paris At Elysee Montmartre"

If you've never listened to "You Got Me" by The Roots, go ahead and do that before reading. You know what? Listen to the live version with Jill Scott, it's way better... plus she wrote the song anyway. #jillyfromphilly

Anyhow, as per usual with mon boulot [job] these days, the mornings are mine! So it was time to take a walking tour. And where to go but Montmartre? No, really though, this was the only place close enough that I could be back in time for meetings/actual work.

So, I had to walk to the Moulin Rouge to meet up with some strangers...which is a weird sentence. But I rolled with that today. And got punished by getting stung by a bee. Twice. What is up with the bees in Paris?????

I met what turned out to be my Italian tour guide plus a couple of kiwis and, I hate to say it, some ugly Americans. If the one rich, old annoying lady didn't have a "be nice" tattoo, I would have been mean. She must have provoked someone before to get this thing. A good example of her idiocy would be a question like "is Dali from France too?". SMH.

Anyhow, here's the Moulin Rouge!

First, the thing on the right. If you look closely, you can see a tiny artist in the upper left, Toulouse Lautrec, and a lady dancing in the lower right is "La Goulue", or Nicole Kidman for you MR movie fans. Translator note: "La Goulue" means "the glutton", and she would literally walk through the place eating off people's plates. Which I love.

Additional Random Note: According to my tour guide, and I'm sure this is apocryphal, she would walk through the audience, kicking men's hands away from her as they tried to...[insert locker room talk here]. The kicking motion eventually evolved into the most famous of all kicking dances, the Can Can. #frenchfacts . (side note, Google did not corroborate this story, but did say she kicked hats off of men's heads)

Also, did you know the MR windmill is red because the Eiffel Tower was originally red? Our guide said this with such surety that I felt I must have missed that lesson in history/french class. But, I swear, that can't be common knowledge. #morefrenchfacts

Also, apparently there were windmills everywhere in Montmartre and this area before... hence the metro station is called "Blanche", like you know, covered with flour and white. Like that scene in Gone Girl, where that crazy lady catches Ben Affleck cheating.

If you noticed this is Amazing Amy and not the girl Ben Affleck cheats with, you're probably on her side.

Turns out, most of the windmills in Monmartre are gone these days... now the ones that are left are either cabarets, restaurants, or private residences for eccentrics. One fine day, perhaps I can own a place that is all 3!

Anyhow, from here, we hiked our way through an old cemetery and up towards Montmartre.

I see dead people. Rich, dead people who can afford mausoleums in the middle of Paris.

The tour guide made a big deal out of this one singer's tomb, Dalida. Now, I'm not afraid to say I'm ignorant of her work, even though she sang in like 10 languages and had a massive statue nearby as well. Anyhow, here's her tomb and a ...bust... of her near her house in Montmartre.

Apparently she was a big deal! Feel free to hate on me for not knowing. But also, people will apparently shine any part of a statue for "luck".

Montmartre, while touristy, is nice to look at. Plus has the Sacre Coeur perched on the top of the hill. I'll spare you the many art stories about "ohhhh, Van Gogh lived here with his brother Theo" and "ohhhh, Picasso lived here". Don't brag. So here's some more pics.

Such a large hill! Such a long way down after. But before I skip to the "Sam had to work" portion of his day, let me share this weird picture

The lesson here is, if you're cheating with someone's wife and have superpowers, don't take pills ever that remove their superpowers. Or you get caught in walls.

So most French folk read this book by Marcel Aymé where this guy has the power to go through walls. They immortalize the last scene, where he gets stuck, here. But serves him right since apparently he used these powers to get his boss fired, rob people, and sleep with another man's wife.

I have not read this book.

Anyhow, after a morning full of probably untrue stories and walking, it was time to get some work done. If you ever need a cafe with great internet, minimal music, and lots of outlets, I highly recommend Anticafe by the Louvre.

It's an *anti* cafe (say this to yourself in the Jerry Seinfeld "Junior Mint" voice)

You don't do the song and dance about "I'll just have one cup of coffee, and stay here 3 hours", but just pay a little bit by the hour. 3 hours of great internet for cheap was a great way for me to get caught up on work stuff!

After all this walking and working, I deserved a treat! (I thought). I had *LITERALLY* the best hot chocolate of my life at Angelina. Please, please do yourself a favor and try it. It makes american hot chocolate taste like thin, watery gruel.

Everything is better in a little pot. There's a comment to be made about that statement I'm sure.

After all of that, it was off to another night of meetings for work-- I'll spare the details of "getting new volunteers started with the Club", blah blah blah. Just know that much wine and merriment was had by our gracious host, who is in many ways a hero of mine, and is also named Sam. Well, Sami. Close enough.

Just a couple of days in Paris, and I'm already moving on-- looking forward to Porto!

Random Things:

-It is really "la merde" that most French restaurants close for a few hours after like 2 pm. I'm hungry now! How dare you.

"How do you eat yours... with your hands?" [Costanza voice]

-I really gotta work on my accent. People speak back to me in English now :(

I enjoyed every part of this.

Moment of Zen

You know what guys? I didn't take any more video in Paris. Enjoy the Roots video instead.